PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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