Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
