Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
