Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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