my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
