Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
