69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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