im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
