What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
