I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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