Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Acid is not a monday night drug
i dont even know how to be here
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
