so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
