Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
