I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
