so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
