She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
