we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
