in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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