oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
