If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
