Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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