What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize