Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
