I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
