i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
