Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
