come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
