You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
