As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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