Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
