Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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