So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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