i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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