Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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