how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize