he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
