maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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