I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
