You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
