party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize