I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize