i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
