you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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