hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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