I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
