Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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