Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In America we eat man semen.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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