i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
