Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
