You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
