i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You don't make any sense
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