Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize