What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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