I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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