Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize