I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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