Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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