Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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