somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When are your genitals available?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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