And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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