After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All the doctor said was why
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
