I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize