I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
