I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He shit in the fireplace
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
