She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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