he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
