If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize