After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize